Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about “me.”During the period of our education, or our domestication, we learn to take everything personally. We think we are responsible for everything. Me, me, always me! Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one you live in.
Taking things personally makes you easy prey for those predators who try to send you emotional poison. They can hook you easily with one little opinion, and feed you all their emotional garbage. When you take it personally, you eat it up, and now it becomes your garbage. But if you don’t take it personally, you are immune to their poison; you will not eat it. Immunity to emotional poison is the gift of this agreement. When you take things personally, you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts. You make something big out of something little, because you have the need to be right and make everybody else wrong. You try hard to be right by giving them your own opinions. But what you say, what you do, and the opinions you have are according to the agreements you have made and these opionions have nothing to do with the people around you. Your point of view is something personal to you. It is no one’s truth but yours.
Ever heard the saying “love even among those who hate”, it’s something I live by, it’s the easiest thing in the world to hate or develop anger against those who have caused you or someone else pain, judgment comes quick into our thoughts and we immediately use it as a justification for our actions that follow. Negative emotions comes to us like second nature, we don’t even have to think about it to develop it, these feelings of anger are just as much a part of us as love and kindness yet we save the positive emotions for those whom we feel are worthy of receiving it. The truth is it is not our place to decide who is or isn’t worthy, forgiveness is as essential as the air you breathe, karma will take care of their actions, love even when you have decided it is undeserving, forgive even when it was not asked for, this is the only way to make peace with yourself and what has passed; love your enemies wholeheartedly and pray for those who persecute you, I assure you they have done more harm to themselves than they can do to anyone in this world.
Embrace what’s different; we all have had our own very special and meaningful journeys that have gotten us right to where we are this very moment, we spend so much of our lives trying to fit in and sacrificing our deepest desires in order to live out our lives in the way that others expect us to, do not change the dreams we seek, who we are and what we look like in order to make someone else’s reality more comfortable for them to accept; like snowflakes from up above we were purposefully created different.
In the same way, others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system. Nothing they think about me is really about me; it is about them. If I understand this, then when you get mad at me, I know you are dealing with yourself. I am the excuse for you to get mad. You may even tell me, “Miguel, what you are saying is hurting me.” But it is not what I am saying that is hurting you; it is that you have wounds that I touch by what I have said. You are hurting yourself. There is no way that I can take this personally. Not because I don’t believe in you or don’t trust you, but because I know that you see the world with different eyes – with your eyes.
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.